I'm Blinding you with Science!!!

Here is my life:
March 2011 I was told it was my Allergies.  Then I was told I had one impressing case of pneumonia I Almost one year ago (April 29) I was told I had lung cancer.
So, here it is almost one year later,
*I have pneumonia.
*I have been to Urgent Care 2 or 3 times.
*I had migraine head aches.
*I had a PET scan on Friday, April 13. (bum, bum, bum)
* I was admitting to the hospital Monday,  April 16.
* I have had two MRIs, YUCK!!!!
* Come to find out I have malignant tumor that jumped up from my lung to surround my pituitary gland.                       This is why I had the migraines. The tumor is blocking my hormones from doing their job. So, for the time being I'm having replacement therapy.
* With this I also found out that the Lung cancer is back and is also in my lymph nodes.
* Did you  know that is it is very rare that lung cancer would go to your pituitary gland..
* I'm having a bronchoscopy-TOMORROW!  This will check out the extent of the lung cancer.
*Next week, I will have radiation for the first time on my pituitary gland. 
*Soon we we find out when I go back to chemotherapy.


It should be interesting to see what they find come tomorrow. Just when you think that insane thing called cancer will blow you mind once in your life...KA POW!!!  There it goes again.  


Yet, all I can think is that God loves me and I am in his hands.  I'm pretty sure my purpose in life is to teach doctors all about anomalies. 


Todays songs are: I had to use this one. I love some "The new Mickey Mouse Club" 

Much Love and Peace to you all!
 K*

I don't believe it-Big News!

So, last we left off I still had my baby room.  Here is what has happened since.  My head is still spinning from it all!
My parents, my bro-in-law, my nieces and I went to Hermitage, TN to begin to gather the contents of my house to put into storage.  We got to stop in Huntington to see the Beau-Po  duo.  They joined us on our journey to Hillbilly Hotdog . If you ever go, it's only worthwhile to go to LaSage. Trust me. I did my best to make it a great food tour too. We also stopped in Bowling Green, Kentucky at Culvers. This is a chain out of Wisconsin.   When we first arrived, we took care of getting my car up and running.  After my dad drove it coasting into Advance Auto parts.  Glad I had him to drive it there!  It turned out that it only needed a new battery! We then went to Walmart to get my oil changed.  That went swimmingly until those pesky tornado sirens started to blow.  My nieces didn't like that at all. I didn't like being in Wal-Mart anyways, let alone crushed into the area formerly known as lay-a-way.  The tornado blew over and we were on our merry way. We crashed in Mt Juliet. My nieces really enjoyed the indoor pool! We enjoyed some Red Robin (YUM) for dinner.  None of us had burgers though...weird.
Saturday, I was blessed with SOO many helpers. I also got to see some of my favorite neighbors.  There was a great deal of help from my church home The Anchor Fellowship. I also got to see 4 co-workers and friends from Kroll. It was amazing how much we got done.  However, for me it was quite overwhelming. I could only be in one place at a time.  I got a little sick of being "Kristi" that day.  It was quite a chorus :) It still weirds me out that I still don't know what is where. We then headed to my favorite Asian buffet, KOI. Buffalo Wild Wings was our dinner destination.
Even though we didn't have enough room for everything, I am glad that I will get to come back and get the rest of my belongings. I look forward to another trip to Nashville and getting to see more of my friends.  Sunday, my bro-in-law and nieces headed home.  My parents and I went to church. It always feels like home. I'm always glad to  see my Anchor family and can't wait to go back!
After church, we headed to Calypso. YUM! I  love that darn house salad dressing.  We then went to meet my "Fairy God Mother." She has been watching my dogs since May.  She was bringing my dog Ava for us to take home.  After a long hard decision, I decided it would be best for Misha to find a new home.  Our Fairy God Mother has agreed to take care of her for as long as needed, if not forever.  Misha  really loves it there. She even has her eye on a boy pup.  His name is Carlton and he is a biter.  Don't worry though he is on prozac!  She even has playdates scheduled! As much as it saddened me to make this decision, I know it is the right decision. As a person who has volunteered and fostered dogs I felt bad. However, I know Misha wouldn't be the dog she is without Ivory, Ava and I. I am so proud of her. I originally took her in because she was a mill rescue and would not leave her "house." She was such a mess and would have been very difficult to get adopted at that time. Now she is a REAL dog.
You are probably wondering where Ivory was.  She stayed with a close family friends.  They have two rat terriers, Rufus and Ella.  She was kinda a hussy while there. She slept with 3 different people.  She is a sweet girl!  
My Mom went to pick Ivory up while I was napping.  Ava was laying on my lap.  The reaction was the opposite of what I thought it would be. Ava growled at Ivory. Ivory said her hellos properly and then so did Ava.  Today, I even caught them laying in the recliner together!  Aw, my baby girls.
Now onto the medical news....
Wednesday, I went to the dr to get the results of my last procedure.  The doctor told me that everything inside looked fine. This was including my organs around my uterus.  He said there were fibroids but they looked normal. The washes inside also were normal.  However, my mom and I questioned the ones found in the walls on my ultrasound. He said the report could have been wrong.  He suggested that he could remove the fibroids. To which I kept questioning, why is it glowing on a PET scan.  I asked if he had talked to my Oncologist. He said he would. (I thought he would have before this appointment.)  The doctor seemed like he couldn't grasp the concept of why I would want it removed as he kept mentioning how young I was.  What if they found nothing. He didn't want to remove it in vain.
Well, my Mum and I left there flustered.  I called the Doctor's office after lunch and spoke to the nurse.  I told her I wanted to have the hysterectomy. I would like him to do it, if not I was going elsewhere.  She understood my reasoning and said she would call back. (May I mention that the Gynocologist Oncologists are limited here.  One I graduated high school with. How super awkward would THAT have been?) 
Today (Thursday) they returned my call. After speaking to my Oncologist, he has agreed to do the hysterectomy.  Friday I go in to sign the paperwork. Oh crap, I will probably have to do "the cleanse." again. Oh well, in case you are wondering my reasoning here is some of it:  
1.) It has to be glowing for a reason. Metabolically active is not good. Despite how much I kept telling      myself I have a "happy, shiny uterus."
2.) I would not want to pass this disease on to my hypothetical children.
3.) It's one less place for cancer to go, if it's not already there.
4.) No more periods. YEA!
5.) I would like to live longer so that I can have children...even if it is not the "old fashioned" way.
6.) This is a decision I am at peace with. I don't like having one additional thing to have to worry about.  Lung Cancer is enough.
7.) Did I mention no more periods? 
8.) There is no prayer of me EVER catching up with the Duggar Family.


I almost forgot. This week, I was supposed to go to Pittsburgh for an appointment and brochoscopy with my Lung Surgeon.  After all the craziness of the weekend, I decided to reschedule. 


So, may the hysteria begin. It's actually happening! More soon!


Much Love!
K*

Post Surgery blog- My life is so strange

In case you didn't hear, I still have my baby room. A.k.a. oven, womb, or uterus.
I contacted my doctors office Monday to see if I could just get it out. Due to insurance issues, we had to keep the surgery with a hysterectomy as needed.  My doctor got in there, did washes of my uterus and looked around via laproscope.  There wasn't anything to biopsy. He said everything looked fine including the organs around. I know he was initially concerned with my being in my child bearing years when discussing a hysterectomy. Of course my outlook was "one less organ to worry about with cancer."  The results from the tests they did should be back in 3-7 days.  So, maybe the anomaly of it all is I just have a happy, shiny uterus.  I may never know.  As long as it is NOT cancer, I am content. Also that I won't have to do a colonoscopy prep again anytime in the near future. Yeah, they made me do that to prep for this surgery. In case you have never had this cleansing experience, the preparation is the worst. You have been warned. 
So, without further ado, I give my favorite version of "Happy Shiny People" by REM. 

May the Lord Bless you and keep you!

Next procedure, Bronchoscopy on March 9.
Hope to see you soon!
Love
K*

This is my story about Control...

'ello! 


This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way- Janet Jackson-Control

Tuesday, I'm having a hysterectomy.  Yep, that's right, I'm not going to be able to bear children.  AND I am OK with it.  Yes, it is heartbreaking but I deeply feel like I am doing the right thing.  1.)  I will not pass along cancer in my genes. 2.) I would rather not have one more thing to wonder about.  My uterus has been metabolically active for quite awhile.  Why risk having cancer in another place? 3.)  There is always adoption. 4.) The Duggars have more than made up for any addition I could have added to the world. Besides, I would never be able to catch up with them now without looking like octomom.

I also have to confess the feeling of being less feminine and less desirable have crossed my mind. However, I know I will always be beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.  My uterus and cancer do not define me or my femininity.  They only make me stronger!  My battle may be unique, but it is mine!  Am I a greeting card or what?

Shocking as this all is, it is ultimately my decision. I was originally going to have them take it if need be.  They were going to go in laproscopically, look around and remove it if need be.  I decided rather than have them go in without me totally aware of what was going on, I wanted to have that control over what was occurring.  That and I hate things being drawn out forever. I already have too much of that.  WAY too much! So, I will be admitted to Mon General for a few days. My bronchoscopy in Pittsburgh has been moved to March 9th.

The night before I went to the doctor, I was watching Dr Quinn. Shocking, I know. (Ok, I confess, I watch it up to four times a day. It is most definitely something I look forward to.)  Anyhow, they showed the episode "Best Friends" where Dorothy thinks she is pregnant but actually going through menopause.  Anyhow,  she winds up having a hysterectomy.  I have been having hot flashes. Funny how that show likes to foreshadow lil specs of my life..

I thought i would share my letter to my uterus:

Dear Uterus,

I know God created me to have you included initially. However, you are being evicted!  I never wanted to start what people call "becoming a woman."  You also have tortured me with this process for over 22 years.  You decided to make it even worse, when I entered my thirties.  BOO HISS to you, Uterus.  I can't deal with you and the mysterious lesions within your walls.  Metabolically active things that can be removed, will be. Somehow, I've always known no one would use you as a residence.  Despite the amount of times I said I was going to have triplets.  It just gives me the chance to make a difference in the life of a child who's parents can't handle the responsibility. 

I hope you understand!

In lighter news, I would like to share a few of my favorite youtube videos!  ENJOY

The first ones are starring Ms. Kristen Bell!

Sophia Grace and Rosie Show!

I hope life is treating you all well!  Some people collect tattoos. I collect scars.


Peace!
K*

ACK! My face is nudie!

So,  wow, it's been a long time since my last blog!  With the holidays, and January being full of appointments, it's been a blur!  PET Scans, Ultrasounds, new doctors and blood tests. Oh My!
As of January 31, I am no longer on oxygen therapy full time. My face feels so naked!  My new Pulmonary Specialist thinks I only need to be wearing it when exerting myself and at night.  I also had a sleep study done last night.  They are concerned that I may have sleep apnea.  My breathing is still labored when breathing through my mouth and I purr sometimes. Ok, maybe I snore a little. So many people do!  I should hear the results of the sleep study in about two weeks.
WARNING FELLAS!  Girl Talk! Read at your own risk!
My PET Scan found metabolic activity in my uterus. This was also found in a PET Scan in August.  I was well aware I had fibroids, but they usually are not metabolically active.  I got an ultrasound ( yeah, the one the doctor never tells you about HOW it is done.)  The gal seemed a lil concerned and it took longer than my last one I had done.  In the report, it mentioned how this could be leiomyosarcoma ( this is yet another rare cancer- CRAP!)  So, I wound up with yet another new doctor, a Gynocologist Oncologist after speaking to my Oncologist.  My nurse managed to get me an appointment that was this morning.  I am having a D & C and biopsies early February 7.  I am well aware of the consequences of what this all could mean. Most of my life I had hoped to have kids the "good ole fashioned way." Yet, in the back of my mind, I've always known that I would probably wind up adopting.  I rest in the Lord in whatever the outcome is.  Regardless, if this is leiomyosarcoma, I say, "Out with it!"  The sooner I have answers though the better!  These procedures are all being done here locally in Morgantown.
Ok, Fellas it's Safe to Read again!
 Meanwhile, I need to make an appointment to have my regular Bronchoscopy in Pittsburgh with my hottie surgical team.  Also, with all of these procedures and all, my maintenance Chemo is on hold.  Doctors don't like to perform surgery within two weeks of Chemo. 
The holidays went by so fast. I apologize for not updating you all sooner. Then again you know how to get ahold of me.  
Peace and Love to you all!
~K*

wow, it's really almost December?

Whoa! It's been over a month since my last post.  Sorry about that!

You are probably wondering how my bronchoscopy and lavage went.  It was outpatient surgery. I came out of surgery with just a sore throat for a few days. I have a lesion deep in my top lobe, possibly into the middle lobe. In case you aren't familiar with the anatomy of a lung, the right lung has three lobes, or chambers.  The left lung is smaller and only has two.  My left lung has taken on 75% of breathing. Normally the left would do 45% of the work. The right would do 55%.  I also have some irritation in the lower lobe. I still have pain in my lung. That's probably because cancer jacked it up.

I'm still a little torn about them not removing my lung. I mean,  if the lung is gone the cancer should be too. On the other hand, have I mentioned I hate chest tubes and tape? I really do! I am glad to have a team of doctors that have my best interest in mind. Dr Luketich and Dr Levy are my surgeons.  Here is Dr Mo,  my oncologist.  The picture doesn't do him justice.  He really has an amazing smile. If you press the links you can see how legit they are.  They are just three of the awesome people I am proud to have on my medical team. My nurses are all amazing too. They have always taken great care of me.  I'm blessed that they have all been brought into my life.  I am blessed!

My Nashville workplace walked in my honor at the Lungevity Breathe Deep Walk on November 5th. Over 20 people walked in my honor. I can't even begin to tell you how loved I felt to see the pictures of the event. I haven't seen them in over six months and they still took time out of their lives. Time to help raise money for research of the disease I will be fighting the rest of my life. I appreciate them so much. They also did a jean week in my honor. Awesome!  Big thanks to my coworkers! I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

My birthday came and went.  I had a nice day with my family! We went to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner!  YEE-haw! If you noticed above, I'm now a 35 year old that has lung cancer. It's hard to believe I'm that old!!  I still have lots of balloons flying around here!! Heck, yeah! Here are some pictures my lovely sister took from the evening!

 Oh No! The old empty card trick!

No worries! I got a gift card

Yee Haw!

My nephew Lukas, bro-in-law, Drew, Taylor, Morgan and me

                                                

My Mom, my sister, Kim and I

Lukas, Taylor, Morgan and me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Kim and I  

Lukas, Charlie, Taylor, Morgan and I

                                                                        

This is the necklace Taylor made!     

Let's go Mohigans! from the ReVeals!

                                                                                         

Taylor made this card!   

Lukas, Dad, Taylor, Morgan and I

                                                                                              

My parents, my brother and I spent Thanksgiving with what I refer to as the Greek side of the family.  I am really referring to the neighbors that live behind my parents house. I wonder if this will become our new tradition!   Their youngest son, Chris, and I grew up together.  We are a little more than two months apart in age.  I used to understand Greek as a child thanks to Yia Yia Effie and Yia Yia Maria. I have so many childhood memories that include them. No wonder I've always considered them family.

Tuesday I went in for a CT Scan. I'm not sure when I will hear the results from that. This week, I begin maintenance chemotherapy. I will be receiving that every three weeks from now on.  My surgeons want to see me every 3-6 months.

Having to be dependent on others is so frustrating at this point. Heck, I haven't driven since APRIL! I'm working on this now. Hoping to take the wheel this week. I'm pretty sure it's like riding a bike.

Everyday its harder and harder to be away from these lil gals.

It's amazing how much time has passed.  I'm still on oxygen and waiting to see where this adventure will take me next.  I'm hoping to make a trip to Nashville soon.

Meanwhile, I saw "The Muppets" yesterday.  Loved it! I'll probably be seeing it more than once. I was pretty apprehensive about it at first.  However, they stayed true to Jim Henson's vision for those lovely Muppets. Did I mention I loved it?

I've started Christmas shopping, have you? 

Amazing!

I went to see my surgeons after getting another PET/CT scan on Thursday.  Well, everyone I received incredibly awesome and shocking news! The Senior Surgeon told me that removing part or all of my lung would be incredibly risky at this point.   That at this point the lung doesn't look like active disease. So, the major surgery is now been cancelled!  Instead, they are going to do a bronchoscopy and Bronchoalveolar lavage on November 1.  So,with that they will do some more biopsies and all.  This is an OUTPATIENT procedure and I should not have to worry about recovering afterward.  YAY! God is good. (All the time!) 
My parents and I sat there in shock as we were told this news. You have no idea how happy I am to not have to deal with all the chest tubes and tape again! Also my parents will not have to watch me suffer and my dad will not have to commute back and forth. SO Thankful!
The surgeons plan for me to have regularly scheduled bronchoscopies. I will be seeing my magnificent oncologist Dr M soon.  I believe, he plans for me to finish my cycle of chemo and possibly start my maintenance plan. 
Despite that, I still have some pain and am on oxygen all the time. My right lung will probably never be normal or function normally.


 I can't fathom the awesome power of God.  It blows my mind. I know that between the awesome power of God's healing and the prayers to him from everyone all over the world on my behalf has made has made all the difference.  Resting on sweet Jesus has made all the difference! I AM loved!





And whether you like it or not he loves you too! 


Love,
K*

P.S. I designed this and my friend Jennifer made it pretty! November is Lung Cancer awareness month! Wear a white ribbon or pearls to show support.