Post Surgery blog- My life is so strange

In case you didn't hear, I still have my baby room. A.k.a. oven, womb, or uterus.
I contacted my doctors office Monday to see if I could just get it out. Due to insurance issues, we had to keep the surgery with a hysterectomy as needed.  My doctor got in there, did washes of my uterus and looked around via laproscope.  There wasn't anything to biopsy. He said everything looked fine including the organs around. I know he was initially concerned with my being in my child bearing years when discussing a hysterectomy. Of course my outlook was "one less organ to worry about with cancer."  The results from the tests they did should be back in 3-7 days.  So, maybe the anomaly of it all is I just have a happy, shiny uterus.  I may never know.  As long as it is NOT cancer, I am content. Also that I won't have to do a colonoscopy prep again anytime in the near future. Yeah, they made me do that to prep for this surgery. In case you have never had this cleansing experience, the preparation is the worst. You have been warned. 
So, without further ado, I give my favorite version of "Happy Shiny People" by REM. 

May the Lord Bless you and keep you!

Next procedure, Bronchoscopy on March 9.
Hope to see you soon!
Love
K*

This is my story about Control...

'ello! 


This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way- Janet Jackson-Control

Tuesday, I'm having a hysterectomy.  Yep, that's right, I'm not going to be able to bear children.  AND I am OK with it.  Yes, it is heartbreaking but I deeply feel like I am doing the right thing.  1.)  I will not pass along cancer in my genes. 2.) I would rather not have one more thing to wonder about.  My uterus has been metabolically active for quite awhile.  Why risk having cancer in another place? 3.)  There is always adoption. 4.) The Duggars have more than made up for any addition I could have added to the world. Besides, I would never be able to catch up with them now without looking like octomom.

I also have to confess the feeling of being less feminine and less desirable have crossed my mind. However, I know I will always be beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.  My uterus and cancer do not define me or my femininity.  They only make me stronger!  My battle may be unique, but it is mine!  Am I a greeting card or what?

Shocking as this all is, it is ultimately my decision. I was originally going to have them take it if need be.  They were going to go in laproscopically, look around and remove it if need be.  I decided rather than have them go in without me totally aware of what was going on, I wanted to have that control over what was occurring.  That and I hate things being drawn out forever. I already have too much of that.  WAY too much! So, I will be admitted to Mon General for a few days. My bronchoscopy in Pittsburgh has been moved to March 9th.

The night before I went to the doctor, I was watching Dr Quinn. Shocking, I know. (Ok, I confess, I watch it up to four times a day. It is most definitely something I look forward to.)  Anyhow, they showed the episode "Best Friends" where Dorothy thinks she is pregnant but actually going through menopause.  Anyhow,  she winds up having a hysterectomy.  I have been having hot flashes. Funny how that show likes to foreshadow lil specs of my life..

I thought i would share my letter to my uterus:

Dear Uterus,

I know God created me to have you included initially. However, you are being evicted!  I never wanted to start what people call "becoming a woman."  You also have tortured me with this process for over 22 years.  You decided to make it even worse, when I entered my thirties.  BOO HISS to you, Uterus.  I can't deal with you and the mysterious lesions within your walls.  Metabolically active things that can be removed, will be. Somehow, I've always known no one would use you as a residence.  Despite the amount of times I said I was going to have triplets.  It just gives me the chance to make a difference in the life of a child who's parents can't handle the responsibility. 

I hope you understand!

In lighter news, I would like to share a few of my favorite youtube videos!  ENJOY

The first ones are starring Ms. Kristen Bell!

Sophia Grace and Rosie Show!

I hope life is treating you all well!  Some people collect tattoos. I collect scars.


Peace!
K*

ACK! My face is nudie!

So,  wow, it's been a long time since my last blog!  With the holidays, and January being full of appointments, it's been a blur!  PET Scans, Ultrasounds, new doctors and blood tests. Oh My!
As of January 31, I am no longer on oxygen therapy full time. My face feels so naked!  My new Pulmonary Specialist thinks I only need to be wearing it when exerting myself and at night.  I also had a sleep study done last night.  They are concerned that I may have sleep apnea.  My breathing is still labored when breathing through my mouth and I purr sometimes. Ok, maybe I snore a little. So many people do!  I should hear the results of the sleep study in about two weeks.
WARNING FELLAS!  Girl Talk! Read at your own risk!
My PET Scan found metabolic activity in my uterus. This was also found in a PET Scan in August.  I was well aware I had fibroids, but they usually are not metabolically active.  I got an ultrasound ( yeah, the one the doctor never tells you about HOW it is done.)  The gal seemed a lil concerned and it took longer than my last one I had done.  In the report, it mentioned how this could be leiomyosarcoma ( this is yet another rare cancer- CRAP!)  So, I wound up with yet another new doctor, a Gynocologist Oncologist after speaking to my Oncologist.  My nurse managed to get me an appointment that was this morning.  I am having a D & C and biopsies early February 7.  I am well aware of the consequences of what this all could mean. Most of my life I had hoped to have kids the "good ole fashioned way." Yet, in the back of my mind, I've always known that I would probably wind up adopting.  I rest in the Lord in whatever the outcome is.  Regardless, if this is leiomyosarcoma, I say, "Out with it!"  The sooner I have answers though the better!  These procedures are all being done here locally in Morgantown.
Ok, Fellas it's Safe to Read again!
 Meanwhile, I need to make an appointment to have my regular Bronchoscopy in Pittsburgh with my hottie surgical team.  Also, with all of these procedures and all, my maintenance Chemo is on hold.  Doctors don't like to perform surgery within two weeks of Chemo. 
The holidays went by so fast. I apologize for not updating you all sooner. Then again you know how to get ahold of me.  
Peace and Love to you all!
~K*

wow, it's really almost December?

Whoa! It's been over a month since my last post.  Sorry about that!

You are probably wondering how my bronchoscopy and lavage went.  It was outpatient surgery. I came out of surgery with just a sore throat for a few days. I have a lesion deep in my top lobe, possibly into the middle lobe. In case you aren't familiar with the anatomy of a lung, the right lung has three lobes, or chambers.  The left lung is smaller and only has two.  My left lung has taken on 75% of breathing. Normally the left would do 45% of the work. The right would do 55%.  I also have some irritation in the lower lobe. I still have pain in my lung. That's probably because cancer jacked it up.

I'm still a little torn about them not removing my lung. I mean,  if the lung is gone the cancer should be too. On the other hand, have I mentioned I hate chest tubes and tape? I really do! I am glad to have a team of doctors that have my best interest in mind. Dr Luketich and Dr Levy are my surgeons.  Here is Dr Mo,  my oncologist.  The picture doesn't do him justice.  He really has an amazing smile. If you press the links you can see how legit they are.  They are just three of the awesome people I am proud to have on my medical team. My nurses are all amazing too. They have always taken great care of me.  I'm blessed that they have all been brought into my life.  I am blessed!

My Nashville workplace walked in my honor at the Lungevity Breathe Deep Walk on November 5th. Over 20 people walked in my honor. I can't even begin to tell you how loved I felt to see the pictures of the event. I haven't seen them in over six months and they still took time out of their lives. Time to help raise money for research of the disease I will be fighting the rest of my life. I appreciate them so much. They also did a jean week in my honor. Awesome!  Big thanks to my coworkers! I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

My birthday came and went.  I had a nice day with my family! We went to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner!  YEE-haw! If you noticed above, I'm now a 35 year old that has lung cancer. It's hard to believe I'm that old!!  I still have lots of balloons flying around here!! Heck, yeah! Here are some pictures my lovely sister took from the evening!

 Oh No! The old empty card trick!

No worries! I got a gift card

Yee Haw!

My nephew Lukas, bro-in-law, Drew, Taylor, Morgan and me

                                                

My Mom, my sister, Kim and I

Lukas, Taylor, Morgan and me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Kim and I  

Lukas, Charlie, Taylor, Morgan and I

                                                                        

This is the necklace Taylor made!     

Let's go Mohigans! from the ReVeals!

                                                                                         

Taylor made this card!   

Lukas, Dad, Taylor, Morgan and I

                                                                                              

My parents, my brother and I spent Thanksgiving with what I refer to as the Greek side of the family.  I am really referring to the neighbors that live behind my parents house. I wonder if this will become our new tradition!   Their youngest son, Chris, and I grew up together.  We are a little more than two months apart in age.  I used to understand Greek as a child thanks to Yia Yia Effie and Yia Yia Maria. I have so many childhood memories that include them. No wonder I've always considered them family.

Tuesday I went in for a CT Scan. I'm not sure when I will hear the results from that. This week, I begin maintenance chemotherapy. I will be receiving that every three weeks from now on.  My surgeons want to see me every 3-6 months.

Having to be dependent on others is so frustrating at this point. Heck, I haven't driven since APRIL! I'm working on this now. Hoping to take the wheel this week. I'm pretty sure it's like riding a bike.

Everyday its harder and harder to be away from these lil gals.

It's amazing how much time has passed.  I'm still on oxygen and waiting to see where this adventure will take me next.  I'm hoping to make a trip to Nashville soon.

Meanwhile, I saw "The Muppets" yesterday.  Loved it! I'll probably be seeing it more than once. I was pretty apprehensive about it at first.  However, they stayed true to Jim Henson's vision for those lovely Muppets. Did I mention I loved it?

I've started Christmas shopping, have you? 

Amazing!

I went to see my surgeons after getting another PET/CT scan on Thursday.  Well, everyone I received incredibly awesome and shocking news! The Senior Surgeon told me that removing part or all of my lung would be incredibly risky at this point.   That at this point the lung doesn't look like active disease. So, the major surgery is now been cancelled!  Instead, they are going to do a bronchoscopy and Bronchoalveolar lavage on November 1.  So,with that they will do some more biopsies and all.  This is an OUTPATIENT procedure and I should not have to worry about recovering afterward.  YAY! God is good. (All the time!) 
My parents and I sat there in shock as we were told this news. You have no idea how happy I am to not have to deal with all the chest tubes and tape again! Also my parents will not have to watch me suffer and my dad will not have to commute back and forth. SO Thankful!
The surgeons plan for me to have regularly scheduled bronchoscopies. I will be seeing my magnificent oncologist Dr M soon.  I believe, he plans for me to finish my cycle of chemo and possibly start my maintenance plan. 
Despite that, I still have some pain and am on oxygen all the time. My right lung will probably never be normal or function normally.


 I can't fathom the awesome power of God.  It blows my mind. I know that between the awesome power of God's healing and the prayers to him from everyone all over the world on my behalf has made has made all the difference.  Resting on sweet Jesus has made all the difference! I AM loved!





And whether you like it or not he loves you too! 


Love,
K*

P.S. I designed this and my friend Jennifer made it pretty! November is Lung Cancer awareness month! Wear a white ribbon or pearls to show support.

Left Lung: 75% Right Lung:25%

So that's the score right now! They also believe that the tumor is in the top lobe of my right lung which is only kicking in 4% of the breathing work right now.  Which is pretty awesome! Can I get an AMEN?

So, I have been out of the hospital for nine days. My next surgery is currently scheduled for November 1. This unfortunately means I can't make it to Nashville like i was hoping for the Lung cancer walk down there. Bummer! I was really looking forward to seeing my Nashy friends beautiful faces! I really miss you all BUNCHES!

I went to the Dr on Thursday. They originally wanted to do the next surgery this past Friday. Then, it was Monday and then Wednesday.  While we were in the appt. my surgeon spoke to the Senior Surgeon (who I still haven't met.) My surgeon spoke to him while he was in the room with us. He then stepped out for a moment. We aren't really sure what all was said, suddenly he thought I needed more time to heal. As I had a rough time recovering from surgery. He also thought that I should have another PET Scan.

It was very odd. We were going a more conservative route. I felt MUCH better about this. Despite all the downsides, (missing seeing Nashville in Nov and possibly being super sore on my Nov 15th bday) I am ready to have this tumor out of me.  They currently believe it to be a lil less that 2 centimeters big! Chemotherapy, the love, prayers and well Jesus have done immense healing.  I still have plenty to go but I have made huge strides.

Speaking of strides, (nice segway,eh) I can't believe all the people from my workplace who have stepped out to walk to fund Lung Cancer Research. I am so touched! I feel so loved and supported by you. You all are amazing! If you would like to donate to their team, or join them you can by going HERE  The walk in Nashy is Nov 5  in Centennial Park. 

For those in the Los Angeles area, my Woobie, Kristin and her family are walking in Manhattan Beach, Ca.  If you would like to walk or donate to the California Team KStar please go HERE

And finally the walk that is coming up quickly is for the American Lung Association here in Morgantown, WV. It is on October 22! If you would like to join me and my friends walking or donate, you can do that HERE

So enough pimping my cause.  Here are some drawings I did some shrinky dinks of:

Please note my"rotten potato"

Here's a song to move your soul

Much Love!

K*

Info Info

As I mentioned in my last blog I am having diagnostic surgery on Monday.  I mentioned in my last blog that I would supply the hospital address. So, here is the address for UPMC Presbyterian:
UPMC Presbyterian
200 Lothrop Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15213-2582
412-647-2345I will be there until Wednesday or Thursday. Also, there are a few walks for Lung Cancer/Disease going on around the US in which people are walking in my honor. (SO FLATTERED) If you would like to join in and walk/run or donate to one of these walks, here are the links:

Morgantown, WV:

http://ala.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/ALAMA_Mid-Atlantic/2092744537?pg=team&fr_id=4322&team_id=34303

Nashville, TN:

http://events.lungevity.org/site/TR?fr_id=3010&pg=entry

Manhattan Beach, Ca

http://events.lungevity.org/goto/teamkstar

Hope you all are having a great week!

Love,

K*